Sunday, January 10, 2010

"I have made many mistakes, screwed up really bad, and at times have made the worst of choices. I've allowed myself to be compromised, knowing full well I was stupidly, needlessly, exposing myself. I have given away my trust with the best of intentions, whether in business or in my personal life, only to have my gestures seen as absolute signs of weakness. I've chased after things hoping to prove myself to those whom I knew looked down on me and probably always would, which only intensified my futile efforts all the more.

I know how it feels when no matter what you do, no matter how much you work and sacrifice, day in and day out, you begin to believe you're never going to get ahead, that all your time and effort has been in vain. I know that at times responsibility, all that weight you balance on your shoulders, becomes too much to bear, and all you want to do is run away from the world and simply disappear.

I know how it feels to have folks view you as something you're not. I know how painful it feels not to fit in - to keep your head down, mouth shut, and eyes closed to everyday situations, living a hollow life, while all the time there's another person, the real you, deep down inside, dying to speak your piece and burst through to live life on your terms.

I know firsthand what it is like to be nothing and have nothing to the point of being nonexistent. To be teased, unwanted, and beaten down until you have no physical and spiritual strength to open your eyes just to see where the next hit will land.

I know what it's like to be used, where being degraded is a normal everyday occurrence; to suffer from low self-esteem and perform tasks with a limited formal education; to live day by day with a huge feeling of overwhelming guilt from a dark past of long, long ago. I also know about being overly blessed when others around you who've experienced far worse, work harder, and sacrifice all the more are not as fortunate.

And I personally know exactly how it feels to do one's part in helping save the world, while all the time feeling disregarded and losing out on love and being loved.

Yet, with all I've experienced - the bad, the ugly, and the disgusting, as well as the good, the grand adventures, and the phenomenal heights I've been fortunate enough to obtain - the single element I've taken with me and that I've drawn absolute strength from in all aspects of my life is in a word: - Resolve. To be of the belief that things will get better. That no matter how low, how tough, or how unfair life has been, all of us have the right and indisputable opportunity for greatness. The resolve that if we could endure the worst of times, then our mind-set should be that we could and should damn well accomplish anything. That no matter how wretched or hurtful an experience may be, we have to summon the strength to confront it, to take charge, and let it go in order to move forward and live a full, rich life. Believe that we can not only achieve our dreams, but also muster the courage to step beyond our comfort zones on a consistent basis, to strive to better our lives and the lives of those around us."

- Dave Pelzer

2 comments:

  1. aiya...
    why use the small font
    it's hard for me to read this entry u know=)

    btw nice blog!
    cheers


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  2. heyya! Thank for dropping by Ü

    I LOVE small fonts. haha... :D
    Will drop by your blog in a bit! ^.^

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