"Like Romeo and Juliet; Fate Divides us"

I've always loved that quote. Little did I know, it reflects the tragedy i had faced. My life have always been pretty perfect. I was born into a loving family, I have awesome friends, and most of all, I have JJ. Grewing up with JJ, I've always fantasized that some day, when I'm old enough, he would be the one I'd marry. From our hide and seek sessions, Power Ranger scenes re-enactment sessions to dating each other all the way through high school, he was The One.

Being 3 years elder than me, he so- called "watched me grow up", as he liked to put it. Always protecting me, and taking care of me. We never fought. One month right before my 18th birthday, we had our first quarrel, after 4 years of relationship. I never forgave myself ever since.

He passed away, in a hit and run accident, while on his way to pacify me.

Thinking back on what happened years ago, gave me goosebumps. He reminded me before, that I was to not go before him. He lost his dad, and his mom. I was all he had.

I never got the chance to tell him; he was what I was living for. The day he died, he took my soul with him. I know, i can never be whole again.

In Loving Memory - Jesse Josh

Love

The Four letter word which often brings about both happiness and sadness.

They said; Love is like coffee - So addictive and bittersweet at the same time. I agree. Yet again, they said, there is no everlasting love. This, i have to disagree. an everlasting love happens when you're all someone thinks about at the very last moment before his death. I'm one of the lucky ones to have experienced that. Lucky. Its so contradicting to be calling myself lucky, when i have attained that everlasting love only to lose that person that i have love and care about the most to an irresponsible drunk 29 year old man. Funny i should be called lucky when the sun in my sky no longer shine as brightly as they did.

Perchance, one fine day, it will shine as brightly as they did once again. Perhaps. I will Hope, Believe and Trust.

Here, I'll enclose one of my all time favourite Poems extracted from the movie Patch Adams.

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,

or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.

I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,

in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms

but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;

thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,

risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.

I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;

so I love you because I know no other way

that this: where I does not exist, nor you,

so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,

so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep."

-Pablo Neruda-

I'm currently Craving for Pavlova. yummmm! Its an absolutely yummy dessert that comes in the form of a sugarry marshmallow cake! It is a meringue dessert named after a Russian Ballet Dancer - Anna Pavlova. The dessert is crispy on the outside but light and fluffy inside. The dessert is believed to be created to honour the dancer during or after one of her tours to Australia or New Zealand.

You must be wondering how I know that much. ^ ^ Well, all thanks to Wikipedia.org =D

Anyways, Pavlova taste Really REALLY sweet because its thick crust is all made of sugar and the inside of it are melted sugar marshmallows as well. What I like about it is the Fruit toppings! Topped with some sour strawberries or blueberries, the mixed exotic taste of sour and sweet is fantástico! *Slurp* Just typing about it makes my stomach grumble!!

Memories.

I have tons of them. They are what kept me going in today's messy realistic world. I still fondly remember how my dad used to bring my brothers and I to the local Cinehouse to watch some theatres every weekend without miss, and how my brothers and I used to create our own Treasure Hunt around the house. Even when we pretended that we were in the reality show of American Gladiators. Boy, I've had fun growing up!

I've always have this thing about lollipop, butterflies, slides and swing! each time i see any one of those, my eyes lit up! My dad says I resemble my mom to the max, especially when i get excited about certain something, and that I'll always be a kid to him.

I guess no matter how matured I am, I am indeed, still a kid at heart. After all, I'm a 21 year old who loves going on Slides and Swing!

Colours.

I Looooooooooooveee Colours! They make me happy! I can neither paint, nor draw. But i love colours .

Know What's my Favourite???

Green!

It reminds me so much of the mother nature that i love. The green leafy feeling is just so soothing to me. I could always leave the whole world behind and embark on my self discovery journey while hiking some woods and in the meantime; basking in the serenity of the jungle.

Calmness, Serenity and pristine green.

So overpowering, it clears my mind and brings back my focus.
This is, My ultimate Escape from Reality :

Mother Nature

A Choice.

At 21, I'm still not able to comprehend the fact that whoever you meet in life, some day, you'll go your parting ways, come what may; may it be death, moving or complications in life. Life's a barrel of laughter sometimes. Its a wonder to me that millions across the world share the same air that i breathe and yet, we're all different in our own ways. I guess we all live for the same reason - to make choices - good ones and bad ones.

There were numerous times when I've regretted some decisions in life. Perhaps, i'm still grasping with "What Could Have Been" rather than "What Will Be" - One Past, One Future. Some one once told me this - "Walk towards me; I'll be your light. Dont Look back". As of this very moment, I'm walking ahead. After all, Life's Too short to be living behind a shadow of your Past.

Opening ;)

A New Start. A New beginning; and a new haircut. ;) Oh. Some cool shades too!

Well, Due to an increase in demand from my peers, I've finally decided to start blogging. I know; I know. Its high time. Well, perhaps, not really. I was just trying to find a suitable entree for my first blog. Now that I've decided, here goes nothing!

I've led a pretty amazing life so far... My dad said that I could make a book out of it. Perhaps yes... but there are some memories in life that I'd rather keep to myself. So precious are those memories that without them, i Would not be complete.

Growing up, I've always tried to imitate others; how they dress, how they put on their make up, how they walk in heels, and in whatever that they do. I've never really tried doing something that I wanted. When I finally decided to tackle something that i wanted, I chickened out. Yeap. thats me. Fickle and undecisive.

So today, i made some new resolutions for myself. I'm gonna try to make the best out of my life While i can and just have fun. after all, i own Me.