Real-Life vs. Reel Life

I haven't been blogging for quite a while. Recent happenings has kept me caught up with real-life. Sometimes i wonder if Reel-life and Real-life are just about the same, or not. I find myself constantly thinking and missing my Reel-life friends rather than most of my Real-life friends.

People often told me that I am an Internet addict. I don't think so for I would definitely be able to go through my days without the internet. I just find myself more comfortable talking to my net friends, my Twitter friends as well as my Facebook friends from all over the world.

A person who was extremely close to me asked me this two days ago:- So you get onto Social Networking to seek for care, attention and love? He clearly have misunderstood me. No, I don't "seek" for care, attention nor Love. The one difference between Twitter and Facebook to me is simple:-

In Facebook, I have too much acquaintances who pretend that they care about your life, death and survival when they actually do not. They have this tendency to just, apparently, ask how are you and your family, to show you that at least they tried, and then go ahead behind your back and complain that you're an attention seeker and that they have bigger problems than you.

Twitter, on the hand, consists of people I network with every single day. It consist of people who never hesitate to greet me a cheery Good morning or a chirpy hey! when you're on. They genuinely care for your well-being. There was no such thing as "Hi, I hope everything is okay. Be Strong, Things will pass in time." Seriously, dude, How Much Time? How much more stronger can i be? How okay can things be?

People in Twitter would offer me solutions and useful articles on Cancer related matters, as well as tell me and most importantly make me Feel like I do have their support. At times like this, I know I need to be strong; but i also need my friends around for me to be vulnerable. That, Facebook can never provide. Disappointing. Facebook friends happen to be so Real-Life while Twitter happens to be my Reel- Life.

Recent happenings have shown me just how fragile friendship and ties that binds can actually be. Honestly, I don't even know what's friendship anymore. I call them acquaintances; because I know; I can do without them in my life.

Call me a Sceptic. I don't care. It's none of your business anyway.

30/11/09

Take Courage, Woman!

I'm pent up. Frustrated. Tired. Exhausted:- I've had enough!

I seriously have had enough.

How many countless time have these thoughts occur in my mind? Yes, I felt like I've had enough, but am I willing to risk giving it up? No. I'm not. Regardless of how tired I am in battling life's obstacles, I refused to give up. If I do, what's left? If I do, Who's left?

Its not a burden. It's my destiny.

Strength. Courage. Determination.

I am, a WonderGirl.

You should never give yourself a chance to fall apart, because when you do, it becomes a tendency and it happens over and over again. You must practise Staying Strong.

A promise I made.

"My Wonderwall.. I could promise to hold you and to cherish you. I could promise to be in sickness and in health. I could say, til death do us part. But I won't. Those vows are for optimistic couples, the ones full of hope. And I do not stand here, optimistic or full of hope. I am not optimistic, I am not hopeful, I am sure. I am steady. And I know that I am a heart person. I am a heart person. So this I am sure, you are my partner, my lover, my very best friend, my heart, my heart beats for you. And today, I promise you this: I promise you to lay my heart in the palm of your hands, I promise you me..."

I am a "Heart" Person and So are You.

"The resting place of the mind is the heart. The only thing the mind hears all day is clanging bells and noise and arguments and all it wants is quietude. The only place a mind will ever find peace is inside the silence of the heart. That's where you need to go:- the heart."

- Eat, Pray, Love - Elizabeth Gilbert -

It always interest me when I hear someone said "I'm following my heart" or "A reasonable person would always follow his mind, because mind is able to think rationally while the heart don't".

So am I a heart person or a mind person?

How do you classify someone as a heart person and another as a mind person?

I've always thought that everyone is a heart person. Like how Elizabeth Gilbert said as quoted above " The only place a mind will ever find peace is inside the silence of the heart". So people, YOU are a heart person. Debate and question no more.

You may think a lot about certain something, but at the end of the day, you follow the decision that you really want. Now, THATs a heart person. I am, nothing but proud to proclaim, so that everyone knows, that :-

I. I am a Heart person.

I followed my heart. Thats where I find myself at my most happy.

I hope you do too.

You only live once. Live it in happiness. If you don't do it now, When?

06/11/09

Separation.

Yesterday, was a seemingly dark day. It was raining the entire day and everyone was in a sombre mood.

It was All Soul's Day.

It was a day where we'll visit the graves of our love ones. Its a day where we'll light candles and say a little prayer for the souls. Its a day where we place fresh flowers by the graves. Its a day, where we commemorate those who has passed on.

Its a day, where I get a little more extra time with my mom, Grandpa and JJ.

At 22, I haven't fully been able to grasp this area of living:- where someday, we will all part with one another. I'm not afraid of dying. I've cheated death once;- I know how scary it is, but nothing terrifies me more than the idea of Losing the people I love. You can call me selfish. I would rather depart first than being the other way round.

Having lost so much at only 22, I wonder how I ever made it through those times. Was it my family who propped me up? Was it prayers? Was it by my own faith? I don't know. What I do know is, someday, this little heart of mine wont be able to take the losses no more and I may succumb to a terrible heartbreak. Whilst that "Someday" is not here yet, I shall Hope, Believe, and Have Faith.

03/11/09