Out Of The Box.

Good morning Blogosphere. It is 9.09am on a Saturday and here I am sitting on my working desk - working. Of course literally speaking, I am actually Blogging, since the amount of calls I am receiving this morning from Australia is rather scarce.

Many have asked me; What on earth am I doing quitting my Legal job for Fedex Australia, a job which have totally no relation to my degree at all. To some, I am throwing my entire 4 years of education for nothing. To some, I am a girl who has lost her sense of direction in life and just settling for whatever job options i have laid down in front of me.

I would say, to me, I am stepping out of my comfort Zone. Yes, this is a whole new experience for me. Yes, it has nothing to do with Law when you compare it with my previous job. I was and have been for 5 years in my life, a student in the Law field, and working in a legal capacity at my previous job. I was dealing with a lot of alphabets. Look where I am now, in a job that has nothing to do with the legal field, and I am dealing majority with numeric codes.

What makes a difference is that i am happy with my current job as opposed to my previous job. Not to say I dislike working with my previous job. I found that in m current job, i possess the fire and passion to actually wake up at 4am every single morning and come to work. I Love my job at FedEx. As simple as that. What people have failed to understand is that although I am working for FedEx, that does not necessarily means I am giving up on my studies. Eventually, my ultimate aim is to pursue my Masters in Medical Law.

All I am saying is that, do not constraint yourself to what you are familiar with. Think outside the box, See outside the box, and Live outside the box! Imagine how cool my resume would look like when they see that my working experiences includes: Teaching at a US Private School, Office General Admin, Personal Assistant, Corporate Trainer, Junior Lawyer, and now a FedEx Employee. Speaking of being a Jack of all trades! Ü

So yes, in case there is still a tiny seed of doubt in your mind, I am happy with my new job! I like the challenges that comes with it and even more so, i love taking risks in order to broaden up my horizons! Ü

And Until new ideas come to mind, I am relief the Writer's Block is now gone! Have a great Weekend Everyone... And till my creativity strikes again. Toodles.

Strength of a Woman.

Strength is inherent capacity to manifest energy, to endure, and to resist.

- via Dictionary.com

I've came a long way. Pain and heartache are no longer new to me. Happiness, laughter and smiles; they're all aliens. Despite it all, One thing I gained from it all, is an 8 letter word - S.T.R.E.N.G.T.H.

This, I most certainly have.

I may be a fallen rose, but I'll always triumph in the end...

because of one simple reason...

I followed my heart.

No regrets, whatsoever.

25/01/2010

Real-Life vs. Reel Life

I haven't been blogging for quite a while. Recent happenings has kept me caught up with real-life. Sometimes i wonder if Reel-life and Real-life are just about the same, or not. I find myself constantly thinking and missing my Reel-life friends rather than most of my Real-life friends.

People often told me that I am an Internet addict. I don't think so for I would definitely be able to go through my days without the internet. I just find myself more comfortable talking to my net friends, my Twitter friends as well as my Facebook friends from all over the world.

A person who was extremely close to me asked me this two days ago:- So you get onto Social Networking to seek for care, attention and love? He clearly have misunderstood me. No, I don't "seek" for care, attention nor Love. The one difference between Twitter and Facebook to me is simple:-

In Facebook, I have too much acquaintances who pretend that they care about your life, death and survival when they actually do not. They have this tendency to just, apparently, ask how are you and your family, to show you that at least they tried, and then go ahead behind your back and complain that you're an attention seeker and that they have bigger problems than you.

Twitter, on the hand, consists of people I network with every single day. It consist of people who never hesitate to greet me a cheery Good morning or a chirpy hey! when you're on. They genuinely care for your well-being. There was no such thing as "Hi, I hope everything is okay. Be Strong, Things will pass in time." Seriously, dude, How Much Time? How much more stronger can i be? How okay can things be?

People in Twitter would offer me solutions and useful articles on Cancer related matters, as well as tell me and most importantly make me Feel like I do have their support. At times like this, I know I need to be strong; but i also need my friends around for me to be vulnerable. That, Facebook can never provide. Disappointing. Facebook friends happen to be so Real-Life while Twitter happens to be my Reel- Life.

Recent happenings have shown me just how fragile friendship and ties that binds can actually be. Honestly, I don't even know what's friendship anymore. I call them acquaintances; because I know; I can do without them in my life.

Call me a Sceptic. I don't care. It's none of your business anyway.

30/11/09

I am a "Heart" Person and So are You.

"The resting place of the mind is the heart. The only thing the mind hears all day is clanging bells and noise and arguments and all it wants is quietude. The only place a mind will ever find peace is inside the silence of the heart. That's where you need to go:- the heart."

- Eat, Pray, Love - Elizabeth Gilbert -

It always interest me when I hear someone said "I'm following my heart" or "A reasonable person would always follow his mind, because mind is able to think rationally while the heart don't".

So am I a heart person or a mind person?

How do you classify someone as a heart person and another as a mind person?

I've always thought that everyone is a heart person. Like how Elizabeth Gilbert said as quoted above " The only place a mind will ever find peace is inside the silence of the heart". So people, YOU are a heart person. Debate and question no more.

You may think a lot about certain something, but at the end of the day, you follow the decision that you really want. Now, THATs a heart person. I am, nothing but proud to proclaim, so that everyone knows, that :-

I. I am a Heart person.

I followed my heart. Thats where I find myself at my most happy.

I hope you do too.

You only live once. Live it in happiness. If you don't do it now, When?

06/11/09

Sunny Happy Saturday

It's a Cool Sunny Day today Ü . Perfect for gym. My workout regime today includes 15 mins on the treadmill, 1 hour of BodyJam, and an hour and half of Line Dance Funk. Definitely the first time I'm working out this vigorously. I just wanted to see how far I can actually go, after one month of hitting the Gym. Its a bonus for me after finding out about my health issues, and recent happenings, I needed to vent. Gym is my best bet compared to my other alternatives - which includes a very unhealthy round of beers and getting drunk and driving to the middle of nowhere.

Just updated the playlist on my MP4 to more house musics. Absolutely think that Eric Prydz and David Guetta are awesome! Ü

So what else is on my agenda today? Probably dinner night out with the family. Dad's been vomitting consistently these few nights and haven't been eating anything AT ALL aside from oatmeals. No good. ): Its been hard on the family, having have to deal with two cancer patients at home. So Today, I woke up and decided that I should stop moping about my illness. I'll be normal . After all, That's what I've always wanted to be.

I'm glad and thankful that I managed to wake up today to a cheery mood. It determines my whole day and I'm going to try to make it through this day without shedding a single tear! I got my closure last night. It wasn't a goodbye:- I got my answer to all my questions. It's all real. Everything that happened, was real and genuine. Nobody can take that away from me. And for that, I feel so liberated, and happy - because he loves me. Ü Love was never about possession. It's about wanting that very person to have the best in life and be happy about it.

Happy points collected! Ü

Day 1 of Holiday from chemo.

12.56PM - 12/09/09

I come in Multiple Shades.

Sometimes I feel as though I might be bipolar. There's just too many shades of me. There come a point of time where I don't even know which is the real me anymore. I long for freedom from that. A tinge of realness. That's what I need. Maybe it's the tumour? That's the only reasonable explanation I can come up with without hating myself even further.

Have you ever felt like you just want to be free? Free from encumbrances. Free from your own thoughts. Free from judgement. Most of all, free from yourself. That's what I feel right now. If I could, I want to dissaparate Like Harry Potter, or fly on the broomstick to an island where no one knows me Like Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Dissapearing sounds like a GREAT idea - but i know that could never happen. I'm too attached to this world. Too attached to the people surrounding me - regardless how much I keep saying I'm fine and I don't care anymore.

At the end of the day, I am Cindy - In plural form because I come in all types of Shades.

The Power of Words.

Flipping through the August'09 Issue of CLEO, this exact article caught my eye. Taking a picture of it from my Camera phone prove to not be a good idea at all for you can hardly read the words without squinting your eyes.

"Blogging, journaling - call it what you want, writing or typing out your thoughts and feelings helps your body more than you know!"

Being fairly new to the blogosphere, I have to admit that this exact quote intrigue me so much so... that I've decided to pen down some of my thoughts on this.

I've always loved the power of words. It expressed your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. My special someone once asked me - Why do i always write about my problems and emotions so easily whereas I don't express them in the same way as I wrote? It baffles me as well. I find that I expressed myself better with words. When I write, I get lost in it. I pen down my anger, my frustrations, my fear, my emotions, my happiness, my guilt, my sin and I know Mr Pen & Paper would not judge me according to my actions.

Perhaps, what I'm really afraid of is being judged by my peers. Peer pressure has been and always will be one stigma in my life where I have to live up to certain standards that was created of me in the eyes of the people I have around me. I have to be who they want me to be; not who I want to be. Of course, my alter ego shows that I am someone who do not care about other people's perceptions towards me, yet no matter how hard I try to deny it, I do care. Hence, the act of me always trying to distant myself away.

Learning to write about my thoughts and perceptions have indeed taught me how to not allow my emotions to rule over me (although at times I still do!). Learning. Grasping. Baby steps. What about you?

Ü