Born to ♥ & Made to Last.

I was contemplating deleting this blog and starting with a new one. I guess, I just can't. Rather than trying to delete my memory, I'm embracing every single bit of it.

.::.A new start.::.

Here are my wishlist:-

• That the people that I love, are happy.
• That I learn how to smile again.
• That i make more time for myself.
• That I, whole heartedly, give my blessings to My WonderWall to be happy.

I'm a lover. I Love. I live to love. I was born to Love.

♥

Top 10 things to Instantly feel better.

I have terrible mood swings, I have to admit. I can go from one cheery mood to a huge blow up in mere minutes when provoked. How do you deal with these mood swings? How do you deal with your emotions? I can never try to hide my emotions. You can see through me. It was as if I'm invisible. So what do I usually do, you're asking? Here are my list of venting system that actually works (at least for me!) :

1. Blast music on my Earphones. Music reflects me. When I'm mad or angry, I blast some alternatives, heavy rock or some head banging tunes. When I'm feeling more mellow, Jazz or blues works great and especially when I'm cheery, Classic rock does the trick!

2. Take a drive around. Just drive. No destinations. Go round and round - by yourself. It helps to sort out your thoughts. I love driving with my windows down, feeling the air on my face helps calm me down.

3. Have a round of sad, sappy movies marathon. The best time to cry. No one would ask you why. Even if they did, blame the movies!

4. Travel! Need I say more?

5. Pick up a new hobby. Recently, I've started dabbling in photography again. I don't know why I stopped initially, but i find great comfort living behind my camera lenses. They give me a sense of peace and focus that I need. Capturing life's wonderful memories and immortalised them.

6. Dance your heart out. If you don't go to clubs, Go to one! Find a nice, non-smoking club and head over there with a group of your friends! (Make sure they're trustworthy ones, so they'll take care of you!) Just dance! Release the endorphins in your body and they make you feel better.

7. Stack up your pillows and punch them! Or you can even hide your face in them and just scream. Let of some steam!

8. Go evangelize. Spend some time at the local orphanage or old folks home. It helps you to have a better perspective on life in general.

9. Act all touristy for the day with your closest girlfriends! I personally love this. Once I went back to my hometown after a huge blow up with my previous college, I went back home. Me and my cousin pretended to be tourists for the day and just have fun in the place where we grew up! We ate sooooooooooooooooooo much and just started acting weird and queer. You see, I come from a little town. Having tourists there, is highly unlikely. You can bet we definitely having people starring at us thinking we're crazy. Oh i absolutely love that. It was funny.

And this, is my ultimate favourite as of now:
10. Work out! I recently joined a gym about 2 months ago. and since then, it has became my home away from home.I'm there almost every day, except for thursdays, where its my rest day. Usual regime would include a 30 minutes on the treadmill. I love running. As a friend of mind always remind me, Running releases endorphins that always make you feel much better afterwards. I've also taken a liking for group exercises such as Body Jam and Line Dance Funk that includes dancing to awesome Rocky tunes. In fact, today, i'm starting on Muay Thai classes! A girl have gt to know some self-defence tecniques, right? Ü

So there you go. My top 10 Feel better things to do. What are yours? Ü

Sunny Happy Saturday

It's a Cool Sunny Day today Ü . Perfect for gym. My workout regime today includes 15 mins on the treadmill, 1 hour of BodyJam, and an hour and half of Line Dance Funk. Definitely the first time I'm working out this vigorously. I just wanted to see how far I can actually go, after one month of hitting the Gym. Its a bonus for me after finding out about my health issues, and recent happenings, I needed to vent. Gym is my best bet compared to my other alternatives - which includes a very unhealthy round of beers and getting drunk and driving to the middle of nowhere.

Just updated the playlist on my MP4 to more house musics. Absolutely think that Eric Prydz and David Guetta are awesome! Ü

So what else is on my agenda today? Probably dinner night out with the family. Dad's been vomitting consistently these few nights and haven't been eating anything AT ALL aside from oatmeals. No good. ): Its been hard on the family, having have to deal with two cancer patients at home. So Today, I woke up and decided that I should stop moping about my illness. I'll be normal . After all, That's what I've always wanted to be.

I'm glad and thankful that I managed to wake up today to a cheery mood. It determines my whole day and I'm going to try to make it through this day without shedding a single tear! I got my closure last night. It wasn't a goodbye:- I got my answer to all my questions. It's all real. Everything that happened, was real and genuine. Nobody can take that away from me. And for that, I feel so liberated, and happy - because he loves me. Ü Love was never about possession. It's about wanting that very person to have the best in life and be happy about it.

Happy points collected! Ü

Day 1 of Holiday from chemo.

12.56PM - 12/09/09

Better In Time.

Home Ü

Decided to stay home after all.. I felt so much better, now that I'm no longer cooped up in a room smelled of medicines and with nurses hustling and bustling over every patient. Upon arrival, aunt greeted me with a great news:

My sister in law is preggy! Ü Gineva is going to be a big sister now! (and she keeps demanding for a baby brother! ö ). Another addition to the Vaz Family Clan. :D Hoozah! At least, a good news for the week (:

So yeah, MonMon's gonna take me to hospi for my sessions. Feroza resigned from UNICEF and she's also taking turns with Mon² in sending me to and fro for my sessions. I ♥ them!

In conjunction with the sessions, and a new start, I'm gonna Crop my hair! Was alternating between a boy cropped hair or bop but Peggy refused to trim my lovely locks that short. So I'm gonna settle for a longer hair, BUT Brunette and Curly. Ü That's just so not me! - which is exactly the reason why I'm changing my hair style! Look out for pixxies ;)

Dr Nik Aslan finally relented to my ever persuasive attempt to allow me to start going to gym once again..

"No strenuous exercise. No weights. Stop when you're hurting. Do not push yourself way over the limit - you're so capable of doing that." - was what he said. ;p

So doc.... Body Jam and Treadmill is fine... RIGHT? Ü

As an exchange, I promise to eat healthy - ie blended diets (barfs..) - Sleep early (by midnight every night) - Be a good girl and take my medication and injections (O.o)

Mr Ajit also told me that I'm always welcome back in the office. Contemplating working again.. ;p Maybe after the first cycle.. heh.. Positive outlook right? By keeping myself busy and think less of my cobwebs, i AM trying to be positive! Wish me luck! Ü

*Slightly happier mode - on* Ü

3.13PM - Home.

Working Out - Top of my To-Do List!

"Motivation is what gets you started; Habit is what gets you going"
- Fitness First.

For a patient of Bronchiectasis, strengthening the lung's capacity is always number one on their to-do list. What better ways to do that, than to exercise? Swimming, jogging, cycling. Its all monotanous, well, at least it is for me! Once boredom starts setting in, I start developing the "Lazy Bum Syndrome" and inadvertently starts making a ridiculous amount of excuses to NOT exercise.

Just to name a few (no pun intended):-

• Too caught up with other stuffs
  No time
• Tomorrow I'll start, I promise! (A day later is better than never at all) - or so i think!
• No money for that luxury

After countless advice from doctors, families and friends, and being inspired by a childhood friend of mine - Marcus, I finally decided to join a gym. For a person with short attention span, Gym seems like the best bet for me to start and maintain exercising namely because there were varieties of exercises for me to dabble in, ie: Body Jam, Body Combat, Body Pump, Yoga, Kick boxing & etc just to name a few of my interests!


So, with RM185 in hand, I signed up for the "Passport" Package in Fitness First that allows me entry into all Fitness First gym centre - Worldwide. That's not all. I was also given a starter pack :-
The starter pack consists of a back pack, a water bottle, a ear phone, a face towel, a fitness journal and journals on proper work out and healthy diet. No, that wasn't all. I was also given 3 free session with a personal trainer as well as two free guest passes for me to take any one of my friends there with me. How cool is that?! ö


Needless to say, that got me excited enough to want to start shopping for my sports gear the very same day, which i did Ü . Check out my cool neon green running shoes:
The moment i saw this on the rack, I fell head over heels in love with it! Within minutes, I was already holding it in my hands and walking towards the cashier counter. What cracks me up was that my best friend, Feroza saw me taking that shoe, and she exclaimed loudly : "Cindy, That shoe? ITS SO YOU!". I knew, then and there, that I was meant to own that pair of awesome Frogalicious shoe! Ü

Equipped with my sports gear and awesome starter pack, I'm ready to rumble! Bring on the Mean Machine! ;)