Cuddling.

The boyfriend once told me that I’m a very affectionate person. I think he’s right. ;)

I love hugs, snuggles and most especially cuddles. So today, I was leafing through an old copy of Cosmopolitan and found an interesting article about “What His Cuddling Body Language Reveals” and though I’d like to share it with my dear blog readers.

• He pulls you onto his chest.

While this dude may present himself as a tough guy, he's really a big softie. "By bringing you close to his heart, he's symbolically showing you that he's attached," explains communication expert Audrey Nelson, PhD, author of You Don't Say. "Holding you against a masculine part of his body — his chest — is also his way of letting you know he can protect you." This dependable nurturer loves taking care of his woman, whether he's hanging shelves or propping you up after a work debacle.

• He spoons you.

Think about this snuggle position: curled up body-to-body. "He's a really physical person who enjoys the feeling of your form against his," says Nelson. "But while he truly enjoys the contact of cuddling, he might not be as comfortable expressing himself emotionally." Expect him to show you his affection with his gestures and actions, rather than with words.

• He puts his head in your lap.

If you're a woman who loves taking care of a guy, you've hit the jackpot. "Men who prefer this position tend to be a little needy in relationships — they look to their girlfriends to make them feel good about themselves," explains Peter A. Andersen, PhD, professor of communications at San Diego State University and author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Body Language. "He's also comfortable with his emotions, very sensitive, and willing to share what's in his head." This dude wants to make you happy!

• He throws an arm around you.

"Putting one arm around you is not a very intimate move," says Andersen. "It's sort of the bare minimum — he's doing the requisite cuddle, but without adjusting his position or comfort level at all." The good news: He recognizes that close contact is important to you and respects your needs enough to snuggle, even if it is just for your sake.

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After all that’s said and done, I’m proud to say that “The Boyfriend” is a little bit of everything stated above. He’s a tough guy and he's also really a big softie. He shows his affection with his gestures and actions, rather than with words. He's also comfortable with his emotions, very sensitive, and willing to share what's in his head. He recognizes that close contact is important to me and respects my needs enough to snuggle.


So gentlemen, What sort of a cuddler are you? Ladies, what sort of a cuddler is your Prince Charming? ;)
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p/s: For more articles of such, head on over to www.cosmopolitan.com

p/ss: Yes, I do Love The Boyfriend. Very much. Ü

Have a jolly good year end everyone!

Love & Lust.

In an attempt to be a writer, I have to write what I know. I’ve contemplated writing anything Legal, because I’m a Law student and working in the Legal line. I’ve also contemplated writing something music related, photography related or book related stuffs because those are where my passion can be found. Then I realize, what a foolish person I have been. I may know plenty about Law, music, photography or books, but it’ll never beat what I know best; Love.

Oh yes, I am, indeed, a self-proclaimed hopeless romantic. I derive pleasure in sappy love stories and romantic one-liner or quotes. I grew up hoping that one day I’ll meet my Prince Charming who would melt me like Jerry Maguire’s classic “You Complete Me” type of quote or even better, like Jack in Titanic – “You jump; I Jump”. Alas, the world we live in these days, you just can’t help but wonder if True Love really do exist at all!

Do not be misleaded by my previous statement. I am not, I repeat, not a cynic. You see, the truth is that people tend to give you all this bullshit about Love at First Sight, bla bla bla bla.. Nauseating! Admit it; it was Lust at first sight instead!

I don’t get how you can fall “in love” with someone you just saw for the very first time. Serendipity, you said? Fortunate Accident? Well darling, even Johnathan and Sara had to spend some time together, ie eight hours in the movie Serendipity to end up falling in love with each other!

Look, all I’m trying to say is this: when you meet a person for the very first time, that ain’t Love. That’s Lust. Infatuation. Crush. All these, fade with time. However, as you get to know the person on a deeper level, after communication and sharing, then, you fall “In Love” with that person. I do know that Love is not measured by the length of time you know a person. What I meant is you have to know the person, personality and flaws, to really love them, not merely by first impression and appearance. In case you don’t already notice, We’re not 16 anymore!

A New Beginning. A new transformation.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Project 2010 - in planning Mode.

I've been meaning to start a more professional blog. Been tossing between a Legal blog or a Photography blog. Either way, I need to get my props prepared first! Or maybe i should just Review books since i'm such an avid reader. So much ideas running through my mind. Let it be named as Project 2010! ;)

Will keep you posted!

These Long and Winding Roads

I'm Falling apart, Barely breathing. I'm in so much pain.

But I'm holding on. Barely, but i'm holding on for just another day.

I'll keep walking down these windy road. I may be a fallen warrior in the eyes of many; but I won't be that way for long. I'll stand back up again, soon. I'll keep holding my head up high, chins up, armored in my warrior suit, I'll keep fighting this battle.

I promise.

08/12/09

Cindy's 2010 Thing To Get List

It's December. Final "BER" Month as well as the final month of the year. Initially, I had wanted to blog about the past happenings throughout the year, but I figured I shall leave that to the last day of the year where I will recap on the happenings; both sad and happy of 2009.

Here's what I want to blog about right now:- My 2010 Things to get Wishlist! ;) Let's just say they're my Goals for the next year to work hard for and to painfully save up for! :p Let's start! I'm super itching to lay down my new sexy to get toys already! :))

Cindy's 2010 Things To Get List:

1. a Nikon dSLR (Its a MUST get for 2010. Been waiting for far too long now!)
2. a nice Butterfly Pendant (Havent gotten myself any bling bling in a while ;) )
3. a Nice Ladies Watch ( Not to expensive, I may be Careless!)
4. a Lovely plane ticket out of Malaysia to Philippines for myself (and parents) by mid next year
5. a Nice little new pair or Sunnies for my travellings and beach trips :D
6. Sports Bag (for Gym trips)
7. Nice new earphone for my trusted Pink (ew!) MP4.
8. New Curtains for my awesome bedroom :D
9. New Mini Travelling Bag (for my monthly trip back to hometown)
10. My new Car! (Finally!)

Not too bad of a list, isn't it? Apart from the hot new car :p and the sexy new dSLR :p the rest are more or less achievable. So what are yours? I bet you must have a few things lined up for your wishlist as well isn't it? Ü

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Enjoy your month of December! ;)

Who am I? Who are You? Who are We?

I have been utterly captivated by my most recent read;- Veronika Decides To Die by the ever so talented Paulo Coelho. I am already half way through, when this particular extract caught my eye, and I thus decide to blog about it. Here's how it goes:

"She had over come her minor defects, only to be defeated by matters of fundamental importance. she had managed to appear utterly independent, when she was, in fact, desperately in need of company. When she entered a room, everyone would turn to look at her, but she almost always ended the night alone, in the convent, watching a TV that she hadn't even bothered to have properly tuned in. She gave all her friends the impression that she was a woman to be envied, and she expended most of her energy in trying to behave in accordance with the image she had created of herself.

Because of that,she had never had enough energy to be herself, a person who, like everyone else in the world, needed other people in order to be happy.... She may have impressed a lot of people with her strength and determination, but where had it left her? In the void, Utterly alone."

Sounds familiar? Sounds like someone you know?
It sure does sounds like someone I know - M.E.

Many times I wished I had the strength and the capacity to just do something out of the extraordinary...Something that is not on my daily constant monotanous basis. Something,for myself.I guess no matter how much I wih for that, it will never happen. You and I. We're all so similar. We live for others. We don't live for ourselves. Call me a bull. You know it's true. So now I wonder, what is, the true purpose to life when we're all living in a void, alone and in denial of the fact that happiness sems far fetched.

What is happiness to you? Are you happy?
If you are; I wished you could teach me because i am far from it.

Like I said, again and again, previously:-

Baby steps; Learning, Grasping. Next step- Implementation.

06/12/09

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p/s: It's my late choir master's 1st death anniversary today. RIP Robert Phang.You're always in our thoughts and fond memories.Remembrance of you everlasting.

My Agape; My Family

It has been a roller coaster ride lately; not thrilling nor exciting, but scary. Looking back on the happenings within the past 11 months just brought both smiles and tears to my eyes. It has never been easy from the moment the family was dealt with the news that their other parent, their dad, is diagnosed with cancer as well; the one thing, that took our mom away.

We're all grown up. My 3 brothers and I. I being the youngest, and eldest brother being 33 years old. Losing mom has never been easy, even after so many years. Sometimes, i see my brothers and dad as well still shedding tears during our annual visit to mom's grave back at hometown. The fact that dad is battling the same illness as well broke my brothers; emotionally. I see my tough brothers crumbling in sobs, needing to be held. I see my brothers looking lost.



Dad has lost 25 kilograms since the first day he was diagnosed with the illness. I see my hero, gradually losing strength and courage to fight and battle it himself. Everyone is living on a day to day basis, worrying and scared about what would happen next.



I, on the other hand, am glad, and thankful, that dad, no matter how weak he is, emotionally and physically, still has it in him to keep on fighting. A true hero indeed. He is scared. He is human, just like everyone else - but, he is my dad. A frail human no doubt, but a true warrior in him. He's still fighting it. So are we.


My family, we've always been One - Collectively, together, supportively, we're bounded by the Love shown by my dad and mom.



-My family, together with My Uncle and Grandnana Ü . Dad is the one in White. Mom's behind me-

I ♥ my Family.

Addiction.

The term "addiction" is used in many contexts to describe an obsession,
compulsion, or excessive psychological dependence

Via Wikipedia.Org

So, here are 5 things that I am Obsessed with, or have excessive psychological dependency on :p :-

• Coffee

I can NEVER, and i mean NEVER, get through my day without having at least a cuppa coffee. Being named an excessive Coffee freak by my colleagues, I usually get by with a minimum of 3 cups of coffee. Not that i am proud of this, and neither is this healthy, but being a person who have 17 productive hours, I need my caffeine fix!

• Twitter

I am addicted to Twitter. I have to log in every single day, regardless of where I am; Whether I am having lunch, out travelling, or just chillaxing at home with the girls, I Tweet! The best part is, if i could, I'll tweet the entire day! :p My poor friends and cousins were complaining on how my tweets usually flood their home page. Sorry darlings, I cant help it, but i am a true blue mass twitterer (if there ever is such a prefix) *wink*

• Sappy sad love stories.

I love crying my hearts out, bawling with tears, finishing up a box of tissue, feeling sorry for the hero and heroine from the particular movie, and dream about my love story being that way. So what? Even if at the end of the day - its only movies!

• Reading

Oh I read! I love Reading. I can never get tired of reading. In fact, I stocked up my books so much so that I would never run out of reading material. Indeed, thats the geek in me speaking.

• Hunt for food

Like someone once said, I'm a "Foodie". I love good food. Can you blame me? I definitely live to eat. From Ampang to Petaling Jaya to Kepong to Shah Alam, I hunt, and i Prowl for the best food out there! Nothing can beat Mom's home cooked food though, because it has an extra ingredient called Love. ;)

What are you addicted to? Come of it. You know you have a massive addiction too. ;) Share! Ü

02/12/09

Real-Life vs. Reel Life

I haven't been blogging for quite a while. Recent happenings has kept me caught up with real-life. Sometimes i wonder if Reel-life and Real-life are just about the same, or not. I find myself constantly thinking and missing my Reel-life friends rather than most of my Real-life friends.

People often told me that I am an Internet addict. I don't think so for I would definitely be able to go through my days without the internet. I just find myself more comfortable talking to my net friends, my Twitter friends as well as my Facebook friends from all over the world.

A person who was extremely close to me asked me this two days ago:- So you get onto Social Networking to seek for care, attention and love? He clearly have misunderstood me. No, I don't "seek" for care, attention nor Love. The one difference between Twitter and Facebook to me is simple:-

In Facebook, I have too much acquaintances who pretend that they care about your life, death and survival when they actually do not. They have this tendency to just, apparently, ask how are you and your family, to show you that at least they tried, and then go ahead behind your back and complain that you're an attention seeker and that they have bigger problems than you.

Twitter, on the hand, consists of people I network with every single day. It consist of people who never hesitate to greet me a cheery Good morning or a chirpy hey! when you're on. They genuinely care for your well-being. There was no such thing as "Hi, I hope everything is okay. Be Strong, Things will pass in time." Seriously, dude, How Much Time? How much more stronger can i be? How okay can things be?

People in Twitter would offer me solutions and useful articles on Cancer related matters, as well as tell me and most importantly make me Feel like I do have their support. At times like this, I know I need to be strong; but i also need my friends around for me to be vulnerable. That, Facebook can never provide. Disappointing. Facebook friends happen to be so Real-Life while Twitter happens to be my Reel- Life.

Recent happenings have shown me just how fragile friendship and ties that binds can actually be. Honestly, I don't even know what's friendship anymore. I call them acquaintances; because I know; I can do without them in my life.

Call me a Sceptic. I don't care. It's none of your business anyway.

30/11/09

Take Courage, Woman!

I'm pent up. Frustrated. Tired. Exhausted:- I've had enough!

I seriously have had enough.

How many countless time have these thoughts occur in my mind? Yes, I felt like I've had enough, but am I willing to risk giving it up? No. I'm not. Regardless of how tired I am in battling life's obstacles, I refused to give up. If I do, what's left? If I do, Who's left?

Its not a burden. It's my destiny.

Strength. Courage. Determination.

I am, a WonderGirl.

You should never give yourself a chance to fall apart, because when you do, it becomes a tendency and it happens over and over again. You must practise Staying Strong.

A promise I made.

"My Wonderwall.. I could promise to hold you and to cherish you. I could promise to be in sickness and in health. I could say, til death do us part. But I won't. Those vows are for optimistic couples, the ones full of hope. And I do not stand here, optimistic or full of hope. I am not optimistic, I am not hopeful, I am sure. I am steady. And I know that I am a heart person. I am a heart person. So this I am sure, you are my partner, my lover, my very best friend, my heart, my heart beats for you. And today, I promise you this: I promise you to lay my heart in the palm of your hands, I promise you me..."

I am a "Heart" Person and So are You.

"The resting place of the mind is the heart. The only thing the mind hears all day is clanging bells and noise and arguments and all it wants is quietude. The only place a mind will ever find peace is inside the silence of the heart. That's where you need to go:- the heart."

- Eat, Pray, Love - Elizabeth Gilbert -

It always interest me when I hear someone said "I'm following my heart" or "A reasonable person would always follow his mind, because mind is able to think rationally while the heart don't".

So am I a heart person or a mind person?

How do you classify someone as a heart person and another as a mind person?

I've always thought that everyone is a heart person. Like how Elizabeth Gilbert said as quoted above " The only place a mind will ever find peace is inside the silence of the heart". So people, YOU are a heart person. Debate and question no more.

You may think a lot about certain something, but at the end of the day, you follow the decision that you really want. Now, THATs a heart person. I am, nothing but proud to proclaim, so that everyone knows, that :-

I. I am a Heart person.

I followed my heart. Thats where I find myself at my most happy.

I hope you do too.

You only live once. Live it in happiness. If you don't do it now, When?

06/11/09

Separation.

Yesterday, was a seemingly dark day. It was raining the entire day and everyone was in a sombre mood.

It was All Soul's Day.

It was a day where we'll visit the graves of our love ones. Its a day where we'll light candles and say a little prayer for the souls. Its a day where we place fresh flowers by the graves. Its a day, where we commemorate those who has passed on.

Its a day, where I get a little more extra time with my mom, Grandpa and JJ.

At 22, I haven't fully been able to grasp this area of living:- where someday, we will all part with one another. I'm not afraid of dying. I've cheated death once;- I know how scary it is, but nothing terrifies me more than the idea of Losing the people I love. You can call me selfish. I would rather depart first than being the other way round.

Having lost so much at only 22, I wonder how I ever made it through those times. Was it my family who propped me up? Was it prayers? Was it by my own faith? I don't know. What I do know is, someday, this little heart of mine wont be able to take the losses no more and I may succumb to a terrible heartbreak. Whilst that "Someday" is not here yet, I shall Hope, Believe, and Have Faith.

03/11/09

Life Like an Ocean.

I ♥ beaches.

I'm a certified beach bum.

The salty smell of the ocean filled my nostrils as I hear the sound of waves splashing towards the rocks.

I'm beginning to see that my life is like the ocean.

Rocky.

Maybe it is.

.::Funny::.

I hated reality. Yet, my most favourite destination in the whole world, reflects the reality of my life.

Ironic.

11.17am

Roadtrips and Photography is the best combo!

I Love Life behind my camera lenses:- They gave me a feeling of peace I never knew exists.

My grandfather was a renowned local photographer. i remember as a kid, i love following him to jungles and watched him climb trees to get his shot of a mother birdie feeding its youngins. The result of his shots, were breathtaking . Since then, I've fallen in love with Photography. I'm still an amateur, but I believe that photography is not about how long you've been taking pictures, but its about capturing the moment. The feeling. The passion.

These, I have.

I Love Roadtrips too!

My essentials for a roadtrip:

• Camera!
• Plenty of drinking water
• My sunnies
• Baseball Cap
• Good music
• my best friend, Juan (=

So, here are a few pictures I took from way back! Ü

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"This post is transported from one of my older blogs. One of my all-time favourite posts"

"Eat, Pray, Love"

Today, one of my Blog reader, who happens to be a friend of mine, interestingly texted me, and said this:-

"Babe, no offence, but aren't you revealing a little too much about yourself on your blog? I mean, come on, everyone can read it!"

So, again, I'm put in a position where I have to actually care about what people think towards my thoughts and ideas penned down in my blog. My solution to her worry is simple:- "Un-Follow Me!"

See, I've always been very much of a private person. No doubt, I'm cheery and warm and friendly (Hey, I am! :p) but in actual fact, not many know much about me, unless I want them to. As time goes by, these things accumulate and I feel terribly suffocated! Hence, I decided to own a blog, a "magic place" as I've always called it, where I can pour out my frustrations, anger, sadness, happiness, smiles and tears without facing awkward embarrassing moments that we get, talking about it to a friend. Needless to say, it shut her up but I have this nagging feeling that she will and IS continuing stalking my posts! :p

On another note, I'm currently reading on a book entitled "Live, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. I have to say, this book is not only engaging, but its captivating in its own funny way as well. One of the very interesting book that I've read which resulted in me trying to read through it in one sitting - all the time; when I couldn't due to other commitments such as work, studies and daddy. I love how the stories are woven together, with its honest to God truth about human nature as well as its bittersweet realisation of real life happenings. I find myself relating a lot to this book and it certainly changed a few of my perceptions towards life learning journey in general. I would highly recommend this book to everyone; especially if you're on a journey of self-discovery.

Got to go back to work now, but I will be back in a bit to ramble more about my recent happenings. I warned ya 3 post back, that when I'm back to Blogosphere, I'm back with a vengeance ;)

29/10/09

I Am Afraid

My Life is an Epic Movie. It is. I'm a Sword Wielding, donned in armour suit, Warrior Princess (okay, maybe not princess, a Female Warrior). I've fought the good fight, and have won.

But now, I'm on the verge of giving up. I felt as though I have too much on my plate right now, and it's tearing me apart. I find myself so loss. I'm walking around blindfolded and treading on Hot water. Each time I pray, I pray for sign, to tell me that I'm not alone in this fight.

Everyday, I acted as though things are in control. As soon as night came, When I'm back home, alone in my room;- Loneliness took over and I crumbled in silent sobs, falling asleep with my knees curled up to my chest, in a fetus position.

I. Am. Afraid.

27/10/09

Dreams.

"I have a dream.. "

Well, everyone does.

As a kid, I've always wanted to be a Firewoman. (Yes yes, I know, what an unlikely dream!) I've always been extremely fascinated with the Fire and Drill department where they get to don on the cool yellow uniform and slide down the rails when there's an emergency. Every weekend, I would force my dad (in my own bratty way:- Note: Stomping my feet and wailing at the top of my lungs as though there's no tomorrow :p ) to take me to the Fire station and just let me watch them wash the Fire Truck as well as prepare themselves in case of emergency. So much so, that those Firemen, became my friend.

Then, I grew out of it. I then aspired to become a singer. I wanted to be like my mom. I love music. I still do.... I love the feeling of performing on a huge stage in front of an audience. I love the sound of thunderous applause and sometimes, standing ovations. Then I realised there are so much more better singers out there than Me. I grew out of it.

Next, I decided that I wanted to become a Writer. I had my first chance at writing after I submitted an article articulately written to The Star. Luck was on my side, and I earned myself a column where I started submitting my articles ardently week after week under a pseudonym. I was getting frustrated at not being recognised for my own originality, and decided to reveal my actual name. Demands for that particular column started dropping. Again, I lost interest in it.

After much thought, I decided, YES! I wanna be a race car driver! Take over Uncle Edmund's position and be the sole female racer in the whole circuit. After years and years and MORE years of waiting, I realised, my family is sexists. Only male drivers are allowed :p ( Okay! I was exaggerating. Dad wouldn't allow me to race, at all.... According to him, female drivers are "Kayu" drivers. In English - Female drivers sucks) I was forced to abandon the idea.

Not much complains there, because next, I wanted to become an environmentalist. I've always been a lover of nature. Hiking through the woods and man made mountains makes me happy. The tranquility of the atmosphere as well as the beautiful beautiful greenery just captures my attention wholly. I loveeee the earthly smell of the soil when it rains. But what I can do, as an environmentalist in Malaysia? My best friend, Evelyn graduated from the Agriculture line, and during her practical stint, she had to work for DBKL - Following the rubbish truck. Needless to say, I drop the idea the very second.

Right now, I'm pursuing my Bachelor's and soon after my Masters in Law. I love what I'm doing. Then again, I've loved all that i've done before. So who knows how long this one may last. :p

Kidding! Ö

I've come to realise after all those years that dreams do change. as time passes, your wants and needs change. All I'm saying is, eventhough I gave up on my dreams mid way, I have the chance of following each and dream I had. I had the chance to bask in the glory and happiness of living my dream.

So, here's a word of advice: -

Whatever you want to do, Just do it (Like how Nike always said) Ü

I don't know about you, but I don't like the feeling of having to wake up someday, and regretting not doing something that I've always wanted to do!

Good luck, and all the best. Live your dream; Follow your dream.

27/10/2009

p/s: I've always wanted to master MORE languages, and currently, I'm following my little dream and learning Italian! ;)

Ü

*Thankful mode*

I'll be back :- Soon-ish!

I am guilty - Of bailing out on gym for 2 weeks now!

I'm Equally guilty of leaving my blog not updated! I'll be back! Stronger than ever. :D
Just need to get myself settled in my new place, surrounded by new people, and restarting on living my new life.

21/10/09

10 things that Makes me Happy

Are you happy?

That's a question I ask myself every single day.

More often than not, my answer would be "I Don't Know".

What makes you happy then?

That's the next question I asked.

What does happiness actually means to you? Is it the smile plastered on your face? Is it the sound of a hearty laughter? Is it the feeling of contentment? What exactly is happiness? This is a very subjective question. Happiness mean different things to different people. To some, happiness is when you're in love. To others, happiness means getting something you've been waiting for. It still seemed like a really vague topic to me. I've long been numbed from feeling happy. Thus, I've came up with a list of certain things that gave me a sense of contentment, and certain things that put a smile on my face. Maybe, just maybe, these are the moments where I am feeling happy.

• Family Gatherings.

Nothing beats staying home with the big family clan, talking over a round of barbeque and wine. The men of the family would sit in the porch, the mummies of the family would be around the dining table while the youngins would be in the hall talking and cracking stupid jokes and not to forget all the photo taking moments! I've been really blessed to be born in a such a close knitted family where there is no age or racial barriers at all. We all ♥ each other! The support system within the family is unbreakable.

Again, I'd like to stress this once again, and it's something I'd never get tired nor ashame of saying:-

I'm Proud to be a Vaz! Ü

• My nieces

2 little munchkin, and another one on the way! Their cheeky mode and adorable ways never fail to lift up my mood. Sometimes, they're just toooooooooooo adorable that it makes me wanna squish their faces and bite their cheeks! Ö Occasionally, they do get on my nerves, but usually not for long. Oh, have i mentioned the puppy dog sad eyes tactic that they're so good at portraying whenever I get mad at them? Trust me, they deserve a master class award for that. *Grins*

• Singing out loud in the showers

I Love singing. It's one of those genetically inherited hobbies i got from my beloved mommy;- except, I never really did inherit her talents. *LoL* It's sort of like my "mini concert" minus the audience part. Haha! It even has an original Echo function which I don't have to tune it with the mixers! :D

• Tweeting

Yeap! You got it right! Twitter keeps my mood up. Of course, I have to give a round of kudos to my Tweeples who have been ever so awesome in making me laugh with their ridiculous yet entertaining Tweets!

• THE Beach & Mountain top

These two places is where I go to when I need to recollect my thoughts. I've always been more of a sensitive and emotional person (What's new?). At the same time, I'm also a deep thinker - I tend to think too much into certain things. Whenever things get too much for me to handle, I escape to these places and just bask into the beautiful view in front of me. They gave me a sense of peace that I seek for. Peacefulness equates happiness too right? Ü

• Swings & Slides

I know, I know! So childish, isn't it? I've always been a Kid at heart. Wherever I go to, When I see a swing or a slide, I'd just get all excited and I'm thrown back into the past:- I became a kid again. I love the feeling of wind carressing my face as I swung myself high up in the air... I learnt how to laugh when I'm on a swing and i ALWAYS go "Wheeeeee~" When I'm sliding down a slide :D

• Music

I'm a hardcore Music junkie. Whatever my mood is reflects upon the genre of music I'm listening to. Friends and families know me as a Living Jukebox. I have no idea why! Was it because of the fact that I seemed to know every song that's being played on the radio? I don't know. One thing I do know for sure; I love karaokes! haha... The Pinay in me is showing eh? :D Pinoy tayo!

• Taking Pictures

... of everything, and anything. Picture speaks a thousand words. Capturing every single memory I had, have and will have in pictures. It's looking back at pictures of past happenings that brought tears and laughter to me. Some are of people that I've lost over the years, some are of forgotten memories, while some are of funny snapshots of the people in my life and I.

• Giving

My mom left me with the greatest gift of all - Give. I learnt to give; when I give, I feel contented. The smiling faces of my receiver always gave me a sense of fullfilment. Sometimes I turn selfish. I am but a human after all, but when I remembered the real reason of my existence in this world, I try to be a giver all over again. I'm still Learning, and grasping. Baby steps...

• Vacations & Travelling

I don't need to say more! It's like a few days of escape from reality and I get to be in LaLaLand and just forget the world at large. I'm at my most happy, being away from all drama.

The list goes on... At this moment, I'm having a moment of brain freeze. I shall have a Part 2 post when I'm past my Daft mode.

So there you go. Some of my happy moments. What are yours? Ü

That's When I Love You

Have you ever found a song that strikes right into the core of your heart?

Today, I did.

So simple, yet so true.

That's When I Love You - Aslyn

When you have to look away

When you dont have much to say

Thats when I love youI love you, just that way

To hear you stumble when you speak

Or see you walk with two left feet

Thats when I love you

I love you, endlessly

And when your mad cuz you lost a game

Forget Im waiting in the rain

Baby i love you,I love you anyway

Heres my promise made tonight

You can count "on" me for life

Thats when i love you

When nothing you do can change my mind

The more I learn, The more I love

The more my heart cant get enough

Thats when I love you, no matter what

So when you turn to hide your eyes

Cause the movie it made you cry

Thats when I love you

I love you a little more each time

And when you cant quite match your clothes

Or when you laugh at your own jokes

Thats when I love you

I love you, more than youll know

And when you forget that we had a date

Or that look that you get when you show up late

Baby I love you, I love you anyway

Heres my promise made tonight

You can count "on" me for life

Thats when i love you

When nothing you do can change my mind

The more I learn, The more I love

The more my heart cant get enough

Thats when I love you,When I love you no matter what

Thats when I love you

When nothing baby

Nothing you do could change my mind

The more I learn, The more I love

The more my heart cant get enough

Thats when I love you,When I love you no matter what

No matter what

"BER" months babies!

It was mom's birthday yesterday... and will be dad's and Eric's (my 3rd brother) birthday on the 12th of October. MY birthday is on the 17th of December! haha, I just HAD to slot that in. Ü So, majority of my family members are "BER" month babies. Ü

For the first time in my whole life, I would not be home for their birthdays. Usually, I would be the one getting all excited, buying cakes, so called surprise parties, and getting them presents (Which ended up in dad scolding me most of the time for "wasting" money) Hello dad, Money can always be earned, but i have only ONE dad, ONE mom and One (wait Three) Brothers! :D

It makes me sad though because I wouldn't be able to make it home this coming weekend for the big party! The rest of the fam clan would be back at Batu Pahat - except me. How sad! )= This is the result of having classes during the weekends.

All right all right, i know i'm super whining right now. I miss my family. I've always been rather spoiled when it comes to my family members and love ones. What can I do? They just love me! :D In turn, I love them with every thing I have too. God gave me a heart; I distributed them to all my love ones. Ü

Fine. I'm Rambling Ö

Till my next rambling session!

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P/s: I've moved places! :D Will have pictures posted up soon

♥

My Story To Tell & I've Embraced It.

Everyone, have a story to tell. That was what I learnt from the late Randy Pausch. Today, I decided to re-read "The Last Lecture" written by Randy, and reading it the second time, I took my time and digested his words. Towards the end, the book left me teary eyed. He had barely 6 months to live, and in that six months, he spent part of it writing this book, and he did what he does best - teaching. His book taught me about certain values in life and opened my eye to a whole new world out there.

Like how Randy embraced his situation with Pancreatic Cancer, today, at this moment, I will embrace mine too. So dear readers, do bear with me - This will be a long blog post. I have a lot of story to tell.

This story, is about the people I met and knew, apart from my dearly beloved family, that has influenced and brought sunny sunshine to my life.

First and foremost, I'd like you to meet my half-sister - Catrina de Ramos. I have never met Cathy. I've heard so much about her from mom, but I have never met her. We spoke on the phone, the usual "Hi" , "Hello" , "Take Care". In 2007, I finally met my sister, for the very first time in my life. My first impression of her was that she's extremely shy, and for a moment, it felt awkward because we're half sisters, but I don't know her at all - truth be told. As time passed, we started getting used to each other and in less than a month, we were inseparable. She became my confidante, the one person I can tell everything to and cry to. I remember how one night, I woke up screaming in a nightmare, and she was there, holding my hand and keeping me calm and talking to me all through the night, ensuring that I was fine. We shared gossips, boy talks and on a more deeper level, we talked about both our relationship with mom. In the six months she was here, in Malaysia, I felt the joy of having a sister. She's now back in the Philippines, and I havent seen my sister for nearly two years. I miss her terribly and One day, I will succeed in bringing her over here to Malaysia. She belongs to the family, and IS a part of the family.

Next on the list, I'd like you to meet Janice Ruth Alecha - My Twin from another mother. Janice, is a fighter. She is a Hepatitis B carrier and have faced a lot of downturns in her life. Being the sole breadwinner and having losing her mom, she single handedly brought up her 3 younger sister. She gave up so much and also lost a person she loved in order to be a responsible sister. As the saying goes, you reap what you sow. Despite being a Hep B carrier, she is now happily married to a wonderful hubby named Lee Sanchez from USA and is a mother to a beautiful baby boy - My Godson, Giovanni Li Sanchez. I can never forget the countless times we shared on webcam, talking, laughing, crying and sharing. She is like a mirror image of me - attitude wise. I wil forever remember how she taught me on the true value of friendship - that it knows no boundaries. Despite not having met her yet after 4 years of friendship, I remain hopeful that someday, the both of us would meet.

Next on the list, is my darling Lina and Jillu. Thanks to Patrick Shyu, the founder of Humanpets.com, the three crazy braniacs were brought together. We ALWAYS have so much fun together. Laughing, squeezing together in a bed, taking pictures by KLCC fountain together. These two girls remained my solid rock through it all. Especially even more so when dad was diagnosed with cancer. I have no other words to say but this : Girls, I am exceptionally thankful for your presence in my life and for bringing so much sunshine to my family. I will be forever grateful.

Also, on my list, is Karlie, Lucia, Amber, Carine and Gracie. Again, I have to say a huge thank you to Patrick for bringing these girls and i together. The countless moments we shared during our herd days on H.Pets and our ever funny Yahoo conference totally topped my chart. Even till today, you girls have been there for me, seeing me through every heartbreaks and happiness I faced. Who ever said Distance is an issue, deserve a slap in their face, because they are totally wrong! All five of us, comes from different country, Karlie - Philippines, Lucia - Slovakia, Amber - Thailand, Gracie - Australia and Yous Truly - Malaysia. Our Similarity? We ♥ each other like mad. Thank you girls, for loving me so much.

Finally, the one person, I'd like to thank,and the whole purpose of this blog post, is a very very important person in my life - MY WonderWall. This will definitely be a whole hell of an inappropriateness, but at this moment, I dont really give a damn about being appropriate. I'm embracing it. I'm embracing everything that happened. As fate would have it, I met him on Twitter. We started off as friends. He was being nice to me and made me laugh with his quirky sense of humour - ie: his sense of sarcasm. I remember how I ALWAYS got irritated with his "Really??!!!!??" whenever I tried to tell him about certain excitement that happened in my life. As time goes by, and as everyone know, he fell for me; and I in turn, fell for him.

In mere months, the bond we built were not easily shaken. We were completely honest to each other about every single happenings in our life and I find that I can never ever hide anything from him. If you asked me, I was at my most honest, when i was with him. He just brings out the best in me.

Without the need to say anything, he knew my thoughts and feelings. I can never forget the state of euphoric bliss of waking up to him in the mornings, and being able to say "Good Morning" to him. I can never forget the musky smell of his skin when he held me close and comfort me during my time of weakness. I can never forget how he smell of Dashing Active Talcum Powder. I can never forget how his eyes ALWAYS crinkles up when he smiles (This is my ultimate favourite sight of him). I can never forget how he always bites his lower lips whenever he's up to something mischievous. I can never forget how my tiny fingers fits perfectly into the gaps of his fingers - like they were totally made for each other. I adore how he looks like when he's sleeping; with his hair tousled and his face peacefully slumbered.

I have Met my soulmate in him. He fits me like a perfect puzzle. He is like the peanut to my butter, and the chocolate to my sundae. Ü

Eventhough we've gone our separate ways, I know one thing is for sure. He will ALWAYS have a piece of my heart with him. He will always be a very very special person in my life. No one can ever take his place. What we shared, was indeed, as what you said - Divine. Thank you so much for loving me, and for allowing me to love you. Thank you for teaching me how to love again. I am embracing our separation. I am trying - For you, as I know how you're trying, for me.

For this very person, I am not posting any picture of him, because I've already had a picture perfect image of him plastered in my mind. That image, is my sole property. Its my remembrance of him, everlasting.

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I've disabled the comments for this post because its a very personal post to me.

And you wonder Why I would Love to Own a SLR..

For the very first time, I'm sharing my Life behind my Camera Lenses. Had a chance with Uncle Bong's SLR and there is no turning back ever since! Do leave me your comments. I believe there are still rooms for improvement! Ü

♥

True-Blue Malaysian

I ♥ my family.

I do.

Its the 1st of October, and it is the day of Dad's PET CT Scan.

This is a short extract from Wijaya Medical Centre's Homepage, for the knowledge of every reader who chanced upon my blog:-
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Positron Emission Tomography and Computed Tomography (PET CT) combines the strengths of two well-established imaging modalities, CT for anatomy and PET for function, into a single imaging device. By imaging with the two modalities in a single scan, disease can be both identified and localized, potentially resulting in an earlier diagnosis and more accurate staging of cancers. PET/CT can also show how the disease is responding to treatment.

PET/CT scanners provide accurately aligned anatomical and functional images of a patient, allowing functional abnormalities to be localized and distinguished from normal uptake of the PET tracer, which increases physician’s confidence in arriving at the correct diagnosis.

The three areas in which PET is making critical contributions are in:

1) Oncology - Lung cancer, breast cancer, testicular and ovarian cancer, recurrent colorectal cancer, lymphoma, melanoma, recurrent brain tumors, tumor-therapy monitoring and assessing effectiveness of treatment such as chemotherapy, - it pinpoints the disease and helps guide therapy to improve your quality of life while fighting cancer.

2) Cardiology - Myocardial viability - a form of non-invasive stress test to help determine the presence and extent of coronary artery disease.

3) Neurology - Diagnosis of Alzheimer, - the study of the blood flow and metabolic activity in the brain can identify certain neurologic and central nervous system disorders.

============================================================================

It was a terribly long wait. Apart from dad, there were two other patient as well, awaiting for their PET CT. It then dawned on me, that I have an extremely bonded family! We have a great support system amonst us all. The two other patients comprises of an old uncle and an old auntie, and they were all alone. My dad,on the other hand, has his whole rally of supporters beside him! ie: My mom, aunts, brothers and I. I realised, then and there, that I am, indeed, one lucky girl to be born in a family like mine.

So here I go again, I am super Proud to be a Vaz

............................................................................................................................................................................

Today as well, I chanced upon a new surgery method which MAY be beneficial to everyone battling cancer out there! It's known as CyberKnife ®.

CyberKnife® Radiosurgery is a precise, painless, non-invasive radiosurgery treatment that can be an alternative to open surgery in many cases. With sub-millimeter clinical accuracy.

In easy English, Its surgery without the need to cut you open! It is most beneficial for inoperable surgery such as surgery to the brain or open lung surgery for that matter. It gave me a sense of peace to know that the technologies provided by certain Malaysia hospital is indeed at par with that of other more advanced country such as Singapore.

Hence, today, I officially became a True-Blue Malaysian (but that doesn't mean I condone with the happenings of Malaysian Political world) *wink* .

Ü

I'm in a Whiny Mode!

For days, I've been thinking of a good blog topic to talk about. Today, without even racking my brain, I found one.

I ♥ Rainy Days Ü

The earthly smell of the soil, and freshness of the morning dew calms me down and brightens up my day despite the lack of sunny sunshine. At times I love walking in the rain (Which always ends up in me being sick later on). When I was a kid, I used to play Chase with my brother in the rain with dad smiling and looking at us in the front porch. Those were the days.

Today though.. I decided to not drive and commute with the train as I have classes in the evening. As I was enjoying my walk with my Cool orange coloured umbrella, this one motorists driving a Grey Proton Persona just whizzed past me and on purpose, Drove thru a puddle of water on the road! Needless to say, yours truly is ALL drenched. I was aghast.

What's with these Malaysians? It seems like they have totally zero EQ! With wet clothes I boarded the LRT and headed to gym to have a change of clothes. Thank goodness for Spare clothings in my gym bag! Grrrrrr.

So a bad start to my day. I hope it gets better!

The First song on my Blog Playlist is...

Ran through my playlist and found this song. Used to love this! Haven't listened to it in a long time. Hence, included it as a first song on my blog playlist! Enjoy Ü

Built To Last - Melee

I've looked for love in stranger places
but never found someone like you
someone whose smile
makes me feel i've been holding back
and now there's nothing I can do

cause this is real, and this is good
it warms the inside just like it should
but most of all
most of all, it's built to last
it's built to last

all of our friends
saw from the start
so why didn't we believe it too?
now look, where we are
you're in my heart now
and there's no escaping it for you

cause this is real, and this is good
it warms the inside just like it should
but most of all
most of all, it's built to last

walking on the hills at night
with those fireworks and candlelight
you and i were made to get love right

cause this is real, and this is good
it warms the inside just like it should
but most of all
most of all, it's built to last

cause you are the sun in my universe
consider the best when we felt the worst
and most of all, most of all
most of all, most of all,
most of all. most of all
it's built to last

Slumber Weekend at Jan's

So... During my weekend slumber party at Janoah's, we decided to play dress up. I get to don on one of her Saree, and she did a really good job with it! Not to mention her superb photo taking skills ^.^

Yes Yes Jan, you do deserve your SLR! ;)

Anyways, Since I'm feeling extremely thick skinned right now, I shall post up a few photos taken. Ü

Jan called this a "Shy Girl" photo. *Laughs*

This is my personal favourite. Ala Bollywood style! :D

Okay, that's just me striking up a post.

The traditional modest chair sitting picture. Trust me, I chosed the best out of the whole lot to post on here. :P

I love the angle on this one. Jan took it while I was busy Twittering. haha! I'm a total Twitter addict!

So there you go... That's me and my best friend, up to one of our crazy stunts.

Lemme just back track a little bit to the morning of the same day. We made Durian Pudding!!!! =D One of my first experiences cooking WITH someone else ever since moving to Kuala Lumpur about a year back!

I know! I'm donning a Grandma's bun with my hair, and glasses! Cindy at her most simple! :D

p/s: Note the Flat Tummy! =D So I Lost 6KG. Toning myself back right now.

Durian Pudding in the Making. It tasted Yums too!! Right Jan? :D I loved it!

That's just me hogging the cam again. Ü I love taking pictures! Capturing every single memory.

There you go. My best friend, Janoah and I Ü

How did you spent your weekend? Ü

Bottled up in Frames.

Boom Chika Wow Wow.

Ü

Thank you for everything Janoah. I ♥ you. Thanks for being there through everything.

We're Fast, and we're definitely Furious!

• Speed.
• Adrenaline Rush
• Excitement

Its all in my blood. I'm an Adrenaline junkie! Being the odd one out in the family, I love Fast Bikes. One day, I dream of owning my very own 750CC Ducati! Anyways, forget the bikes for the moment. I shall be a true-Blue Vaz decendant and talk about our very own racing team.

Yes, indeed. I came from a family that possessed racing experiences 40 years way back, when my dad and uncles were my age. Needless to say, they were passed down to the next generations - My brothers and Male cousins. Growing up with more males in the family than my own gender, I was highly influenced with all the automotive chats.

I'm officially a shoo-in "Cool" Dudette with the guys because I know what is a Microtech, and also how it feels like when a car is running on alcohol instead of the normal petrol, Turbo, custom made engines, etc. Sounds alien to you? Not to me.

So, in lieu of an upcoming race, I shall post up some pictures of an actual race day, just in case you've never seen one!

A day with Vaz-Maz Rotary Performance Racing Team

Our Race car's Comfy "Ride" all the way from Johore to Sepang Circuit.

Our Mazda RX Monsters!

Microtech anyone?

Tuning of the Microtech by Wankel Wizard - Mr Edmund William Vaz

Actual Race Night.

So there you go. Another peek into my absolutely fantabulous lifestyle. Ü

Before exiting, I shall also include one of my all-time Tracy Chapman's hit:- Fast Cars. Have fun!

"Mozart of Madras"

A Living Juke-Box. That's what everybody know me as. It's Simple. I'm a Music Lover and my love includes also a variety of different cultures and languages. Although I ccame from an English Speaking family, at the same time, it is a Muhibbah Family. We have Muslims, Chinese, Indians, Filipino, Mamak, and of course Dutch culture within the family. Yet, we remain close-knitted and there exists a strong bond based on mutual respect and acceptance. Race & Religion, was never an issue within my family. For that, I am terribly glad.

Needless to say, my upbringing is what influenced my variety of tastes in music. They vary from English to Latin to Filipino to Malay to Mandarin to Hindi or Tamil. My current addiction though, hails from a music genius named Allah Rakha Rahman, or more popularly known as A.R.Rahman.

This is an extract of his biography from Wikipedia.org:-

Allah Rakha Rahman (Tamil: ஏ.ஆர்.ரகுமான்; born January 6, 1966 as A. S. Dileep Kumar (திலீப் குமார்) in Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India) is an Indian film composer, record producer, musician and singer. His film scoring career began in the early 1990s. He has won thirteen Filmfare Awards, four National Film Awards, a BAFTA Award, a Golden Globe and two Academy Awards.[1]

Working in India's various film industries, international cinema and theatre, by 2003, Rahman, in a career spanning over a decade, has sold more than 100 million records of his film scores and soundtracks worldwide,[2] and sold over 200 million cassettes,[3] making him one of the world's all-time top selling recording artists.

Time magazine has referred to him as the "Mozart of Madras" and several Tamil commentators have coined him the nickname Isai Puyal (Tamil: இசைப் புயல்; English: Music Storm).[4] In 2009, the magazine placed Rahman in the Time 100 list of 'World's Most Influential People'.[5]

I first learnt of this Musical genius from the Oscar winning film of Slumdog Millionaire. Well, Who would not love the ever popular song entitled "Jai Ho" which is then later popularised even more by the sexy girl group- Pussycat Dolls? I was totally hooked! Even more so, when someone extremely close to me is a huge huge A.R Rahman fan! He influenced me even more when he revealed that A.R Rahman actually do compose and sung several English songs as well. Boy, I've been trying to get my hands on A.R Rahman's songs ever since then. I have to admit, I was about to support Piracy by trying to download them off the net. To my dismay, I no longer can do that. So here I am, with the aid of MixPod and YouTube, I'm feeding my A.R Rahman addiction online! Ü

Just so my blog readers can have a taste of a little bit from A.R Rahman, I've included three of my favourite song from him on my blog playlist! Enjoy.

♥